Sunday 30 December 2007

Sunday

Don't Sunday's just drag? I have 1,001 different things I should be doing but I'm just not in the mood for doing one of them. Why? Because it's Sunday. Sunday just has connotations of laziness. The less you do on Sunday's the less you want to do. Except sit here and write this for someone who never reads it.

Except that's fine because I don't really want anyone to read it. As I have said previously, this is just for me to scribble my thoughts and ponder my very existence. Have you noticed that statement is getting to sound less and less convincing. Maybe, really, I want to be this world famous blogger. Have a blog that people will not be able to face leaving the house in the morning without reading. Who knows?

Back to the boredom, I guess.

Falsehood

As you have probably realised Melvin Udall is not my real name. It is, in fact, the name of a Jack Nicholson character in the 1997 film; As Good as it Gets. If you haven't seen it I would suggest, if you are a Nicholson fan, that you watch it as soon as you can. It contains some of his best lines and put downs.

It is the story of a single mother/waitress (Helen Hunt), a misanthropic author (Nicholson) and a gay artist (Craig Kinnear) who all form a very unlikely friendship. Melvin Udall is a cranky, bigoted, obsessive-compulsive who finds his life in turmoil when his gay neighbour is hospitalised and Verdell, his dog, is entrusted to him. This and a difficult relationship with the single mother/waitress all add up to a journey of discovery allowing the three to find the true meaning of "the sunny side of life".

So, why did I base my blog on this character?

Firstly, for obvious reasons, I didn't want to use my real name but more importantly I can identify with Nicholson's character. He is non-conformist and comes out with some of the best lines I have ever seen in a movie. Not that I would come out with such memorable lines, it's just that... well we can all aspire can't we?

Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
Simon Bishop: [clears his throat] Uhm, yes. It's not a... subtle point that you're making.
Melvin Udall: Okay then.
[Shuts door in Simon's face]

Melvin Udall: People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.


Melvin Udall: How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?

Melvin Udall: I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Melvin Udall: You're a disgrace to depression.

[dumping Verdell down the garbage chute]
Melvin Udall: This is New York, pal. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!

Saturday 29 December 2007

Sell crazy someplace else...

Friday 28 December 2007

In the beginning...

I am getting old. Life is passing me by and I realise I am not leaving very much behind in my wake. So I am going to leave this - a blog. I am placing no rules upon it, just making it a place for me to talk, blow off steam, have a bitch, praise or ponder the inevitable. A little like a public diary. I do not expect anyone to ever read it, although I have read that statement myself on many blogs, but if anyone ever does then thats cool.

So why start a blog?

Well, as we grow older, we learn that everyone will let us down in the end. Even the ones you least expect will one day let you down. You will have your heart broken many times over and each time will be harder than the time before. You will fight with your best friends and maybe even fall out with them. You will blame someone for the actions of others and you will become unhappy at the thought of time passing you by so quickly. Eventually, you will start to lose those close to you.

I know the above to be a fact.

So to remedy the above, I plan to take too many pictures of the things that mean a great deal to me. Laugh long and hard at the things that make me laugh. Love like no one has ever hurt me because every sixty seconds I spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness I will never get back!